


i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining

by JaneCarret6



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bill Denbrough-centric, Everyone Loves Bill Denbrough, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Sad Bill Denbrough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneCarret6/pseuds/JaneCarret6
Summary: In which all the Losers first kiss was Bill
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Ben Hanscom, Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough/Everyone, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough/Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/The Losers Club
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining

**Author's Note:**

> There may be some mistakes since I haven't finished the book but I couldn't get this idea out of my mind. The alternate universe tag is because Beverly didn't move away.

Eddie was drunk. He was sixteen, in some dude's basement that reeked of sweat and beer, the music too fucking loud to even hear whatever bullshit Richie was saying. And he was positive he was drunk. His head was starting to hurt really bad and the awful music and the disgusting smell weren't helping, so he took his glass and stood up to search for a place where he could hear his own thoughts at least. 

Richie was not onboard with the idea, since he refused to go with him to keep messing around with the broken guitar he, Ben and Bev had found in some corner of the crowded basement. But since the three of them were out of their minds, drunk as shit, they were mostly just making annoying sounds with the remaining cords and laughing like idiots. Eddie flipped Richie off when he screamed a goodbye before slapping him in the ass. He tried to make his way over the crowd without touching any of the sweaty teenagers but it was impossible. 

He started going up the stairs when he caught sigh of Mike and Stan who looked like they were arguing with some dude over something, strangely Mike was holding a vase and Stan was pointing at the same vase. Once he got out of the basement he looked at the large first floor with dread, there was even more people up there. Just how many fucking people could fit in a house. 

The teenagers were disgusting, he took notice as he watched them drinking from other peoples bodies and vomiting over the open windows or just being messy and too fucking loud. He needed some fresh air in that instant. 

He took two stairs at the time towards the second floor and was careful enough to listen over the doors, he definitely didn't want to interrupt horny drunk teenagers. He got to one door that was completely silent and just in case he knocked. No one answered so Eddie pushed the door open, he let out a relieved sigh when he noticed the big open window. But before he could go towards it and take in that fresh air, he heard a curious sound coming from the closed door of the bathroom. Eddie cursed himself, he had managed to interrupt someone anyways. 

"Sorry, sorry. I'm leaving," he yelled.

"E-Eddie?" and Eddie would recognise that voice anywhere. He went to the closed door and knocked with urgency. 

"Bill? Are you okay?" he asked and the feeling came, that awful dread in his bones anytime there was anything remotely wrong with any of the Losers, especially with Bill. 

Bill, his best friend since kindergarden, his leader. The image was ingrained in his mind, Pennywise holding Bill down by his neck, the disgusting clown telling them to leave Bill behind to save themselves. Eddie would like to say that he never considered it but he would be lying, he did consider it, he was scared out of his mind and he didn't want to die, so there had been a little part of himself that wailed about the oportunity to run away. And that would bug him for all his life but right now what bugged him was that Bill wasn't answering him and now he recognised that curious sound as a sob. 

"Bill?"

"It's alright, Eddie. Come on in," said Bill and Eddie opened the door to find Bill in the empty bathtub, an open book on his lap and an empty glass on his hand. Eddie stared at him and noticed Bill's red swollen eyes. 

"Is everything okay?" he asked while he closed the door and aproached carefully, he really didn't want to touch the bathtub, who knew if it had been properly washed, but he still sit on the edge, where he could see Bill struggle to talk. 

"Y-yes. Just some bad memories, you know," and Eddie did know.

"Is it about Georgie?" he asked and watched Bill's tired expression, Eddie remembered there was a time that just the mention of Georgie's name would make Bill tear up and shut himself for a while. After all that mess of the clown, after Bill had to shoot his brother on the head, he just seemed tired everytime his name was mentioned. The open wound became a scar. 

"Yes, today would be h-his birthday." 

"I see," Eddie said with a sigh, he swallowed his disgust and came into the bathrub, sitting next to Bill, with his legs hanging over the edge. 

"Do you wanna... talk about it?" he asked and Bill gave him an apologetic smile. Eddie hated that smile, he hated that Bill would ever believe that he was being a bother. Didn't Bill know just how important he was to him? 

"I don't want to ruin your night, Eddie. We came here to have fun, not to listen to my problems," Eddie stared at him, Bill's stutter was getting better, only apearing when Bill got nervous or upset.

"I'm not really having fun, you know. Alcohol makes my head hurt and down stairs there's too much people, too close, too loud. To be honest I rather be here where I can hear my own voice," he said with a shrug and Bill let out a snort. 

"I take it Richie is being a nuisance," he said and Eddie let out a sigh.

"More than usual. Also Mike and Stan where arguing over a vase or something? I'm not sure."

"Oh, Mike told me about it. Some dude was intending to puke in the vase and Stan got furious, said it was an expensive vase."

"Yeah, that tracks," he said and couldn't help but laugh when Bill let out a laugh too.

"Bill," he said when they stopped laughing, he looked at Big Bill, who was not as big as when they were thirteen, now only Bev and him were shorter than him and not by much, Bill hadn't grown much after being the tallest of them all. And just like Stan he was really thin. But he was still Big Bill and he would always will be, he was still too big for them, the first to jump into action when any of the losers was being picked on, the one they would all follow to hell. 

And Eddie caught himself into that old adoration he felt for his oldest friend, the pure admiration and respect he felt when looking at him. But then Bill stared into the ceiling, his wound especially tender today, the day his little brother would be ten and Eddie felt something dark in himself twist, suddenly he wanted to shut down all those negative feelings that left Bill with that expression, suddenly he wanted to embrace him and never let him go so he wouldn't need to be sad, suddenly the pure intense need to protect invaded his entire mind. And a voice in the back of his head yelled terrified about how similar he was being to his mother. He shut it down though, and that's how he found himself leaning into Bill's space to do exactly that. The angle was wrong, Eddie pulled at Bill so he would be able to hug him with his whole being. Bill gasped but didn't pull away, in fact he complied, his arms closing over Eddie's back and Eddie was so satisfied to know he was grounding Bill in a moment like this. 

"R-remember when w-we where little a-and you stayed in my house to s-sleep?" said Bill over his shoulder. Eddie remembered it, sometimes after they played until late, Bill's mother would call his mom and convince her to let him spend the night. He and Bill would draw until very late and sometimes Bill would tell him stories, wonderful and creative stories that left Eddie amazed and happy before they would go to bed. 

"We used to hug like this," Eddie said and Bill laughed, nostalgia in his voice. 

"Y-you were like an octopus, no matter how many times I got away from you, I always ended up feeling like a teddy bear for how tight you h-hug me," Eddie felt himself blush in embarrasement.

"I was a kid, you were probably warm or something," he defended himself but couldn't help but laugh when Bill let out a snort. 

They stayed there for a while and Eddie wasn't surprised for how soothing it felt. It was always like this when he was with Bill, he always felt safe and comfortable, since they were little kids. But then he noticed the little tremble in Bill's shoulders and Eddie was about to ask if he was cold or if he had drunk to much when suddenly Bill was trembling all over and Eddie was terrified when he heard the sob on his shoulder, Bill buried his face there and started to sob while holding to Eddie. 

And oh, Eddie hated this so much, he fucking hated to see Bill like this. The last time he had seen him cry was the time they killed that clown, when he hugged his brother's raincoat and let out all the tears he had been holding. That time all the losers were there, and Eddie had been really thankful for that, because he really wouldn't have known what to do on his own. Like now. 

"I-I'm s-suh-sorry." 

"Don't be, don't be," Eddie said, squeezing Bill tight as if he would dissapear in that moment. 

His hand rested on Bill's head, over his soft hair and he started to awkwardly pet him as he had seen Bill do many years ago to Georgie when he fell of his bike and _oh fucking shit _that was a mistake because suddenly Bill was crying harder and Eddie was starting to get extremely nervous because if Bill kept crying like that he would have a panic attack or something and it would be Eddie's fucking fault, and he would have caused his best friend to have a panic attack and maybe even die, Eddie had to do something to avoid that, anything, because Bill's breathing was starting to get worked out and Eddie would-__

____

____

Eddie was an impulsive person, he knew that, sometimes he just messed up without noticing. Like at that moment when he pulled at Bill by his cheeks and kissed him. 

Eddie didn't know what had lead him to do that, he didn't really noticed until he felt the tears on his hands and the shuddering breath on his lips and he was about to panic when Bill let out a gasp and pulled him towards him by the hands on his back and suddenly Eddie was kissing Bill and maybe he had wanted to do that for a while now, because he was starting to get really into it for how soft were Bill's lips and how nice it felt to caress Bill's wet cheeks and he curled his hand over his nape and _kissing really could feel this good?_

____

____

But then Bill let out a sound and pushed him without force, but Eddie felt like he had been shoved. He stared mortified at Bill's red and tear streaked face and felt like the worst piece of shit, there he was, taking advantage of his upset friend who was grieving his brother. He was about to jump out of the bathtub when Bill put a hand on his shoulder. 

"D-don't g-go," he said and smiled as if nothing had happened. As if Eddie's heart wasn't about to go right through his chest for how loud it was beating, as if his lips weren't burning and his gaze wasn't almost glued to Bill's lips. "Y-you did n-nothing w-wrong."

"I-I took advantage of you," Eddie spluttered and Bill let out a wet laugh.

"Y-you didn't t-take advantage of me. You w-were just trying t-to calm me down."

Eddie was about to argue to that but he noticed Bill's wet eyes and tired expression, he looked like shit but he wasn't crying anymore and his breathing was even, so maybe he was right and Eddie's _method _to calm him down had actually worked.__

____

____

"I'm still sorry for doing that-" he blushed, trying to avoid eye contact but Bill only sighed and let his head fall on Eddie's shoulder. 

"Don't worry about it, Eddie," he said, his voice was starting to fade slowly, "I'm s-sorry for making you deal with t-this."

Eddie wanted to protest, to tell Bill that he didn't need to be sorry because Eddie would always be there for him, even in the worst moments, _especially _in the worst moments. But Bill was breathing softly next to his neck, already sound asleep and Eddie swallowed his words.__

____

____

Then it hit him. Bill had been his first kiss. He shouldn't like the thought as much as it did.

**Author's Note:**

> Eddie and Bill being oldest friends is adorable


End file.
